![]() She has to know that my interest in the gay scene is about being part of the culture, rather than sex. Since Allie has transitioned, I haven’t done the event, but we’ll work our way up to that. I’ve done the Aids Life Cycle 12 times: it’s a seven-day charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and a big social gathering for gay men. I believe I have responsibilities to my gay community. I thought I was betraying some kind of code. Now we hold hands everywhere we go.Īt first, I was bothered by presenting as straight. Before Allie transitioned, she was scared of public displays of affection. Allie and my mother are the closest of friends now. ![]() People have very strong opinions in this arena, but after they meet Allie, they completely change them. When Allie transitioned, the sadness and anger went, and this beautiful person popped out. Before Allie transitioned, she was afraid of public displays of affection. I didn’t want to see her experience this new life alone, or with somebody else. I came back to Allie a month before the hiatus was due to end. I learned that I didn’t fall in love with a gender, I fell in love with a person. We had a six-month hiatus to consider if the compromises this relationship was asking of us were worth it. It seems not many men stick around when their partner comes out as trans. I looked online for others like me, but found no one. The people she talked to told her the same thing: be prepared to lose your job, your family, and especially your boyfriend. My sister said, “This is not what I want for you.” My gay friends said, “You’re a gay man, what are you doing with this person? You’ve got no business being there. Afterwards, I could think about how I felt. It was important to get her through this. When you are in a relationship with someone who is going through something so dramatic, the first year is going to be about this new life. ![]() I wanted to be as supportive as I could, but I was terrified of losing my partner. ![]() Eventually, Allie said, “If you are serious about me, then this is something you need to know.”Īllie started her transition five years ago. I could never figure out what Allie’s problem was. We met in a gay club in West Hollywood in 2007. Allie, whom I met before she transitioned, finally seemed like the perfect match. I had an idea of what a perfect gay relationship looked like. Tom I’d been looking for a husband for years, but had had a lot of failed relationships, because I picked the wrong guys. ![]()
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